No More Lost Opportunities: Conquering Social Anxiety

What is Social Anxiety?

We’ve all been there—dreading or even intentionally avoiding social situations because we’re worried about rejection or embarrassing ourselves.

Maybe we choose to skip out on a work happy hour because our supervisor will be there and we’re intimidated. Perhaps we turn down a party invitation because we won’t know any of the guests. These choices aren’t inherently problematic; in fact, it’s normal to feel nervous about or even opt out of certain social situations.

But sometimes, our anxieties about social interactions start to interfere with our everyday lives. They become excessive, defying logic, and even causing symptoms like sweating, dizziness, and nausea. Have you ever felt so worried about rejection that even the thought of asking someone how their day was going filled you with dread? Has getting ready for a party or being in a room with unfamiliar faces made you sick to your stomach?

If these situations sound familiar to you, you may be dealing with social anxiety.

Want to discuss social anxiety with a professional?

How Common is Social Anxiety?

As it turns out, social anxiety—the intense fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social situation—is extremely common, affecting roughly 15 millions adults in the United States. It can influence the quality of our lives in numerous ways. For example, we might lose professional opportunities if we’re too nervous to attend work gatherings or make conversation in the hall. Anxiety can hinder us from making friends, dating, or doing other things that bring joy and meaning to our lives.

Treatment Rates

Despite the profound impact social anxiety can have, many who live with it do not seek professional support. In fact, one survey reported that only about 50% of people with social anxiety seek treatment, and that’s after enduring an average of 15-20 years of symptoms.

There are a number of reasons why people with social anxiety don’t seek the help of a counselor. Two that appear particularly influential are the beliefs that a) we can handle social anxiety ourselves and b) social anxiety is a personality trait. We’ve probably all seen or heard of parents encouraging a “timid” child with few playmates to “just go and make friends.” We often refer to adults who are socially withdrawn as “loners, “introverts” or as preferring to “keep to themselves.”

Many people who appear introverted or reserved and do not suffer from social anxiety. They may like to be alone, but going out and interacting with a stranger won’t them cause intense feelings of fear.

In contrast, people with social anxiety experience intense fear of being around others. They also often feel shame around their feelings, and regard their discomfort with social situations as a personal flaw rather than a mental health condition. This self-judgment only compounds feelings of pain and isolation.

How to Treat Social Anxiety

In recognizing and understanding social anxiety, we can work to fight its symptoms. Happily, we live in a time where people with social anxiety have options for treatment. Here are just a few:

1. Cognitive Behavioral and Body-Based Therapies

   Provided by  licensed clinicians, these are common, evidence-based treatment options. CBT, a form of talk therapy, teaches relaxation strategies, helps clients identify and change problematic thought patterns, and works to alter avoidance behaviors, like skipping social engagements, that perpetuate feelings of isolation and shame.

   Body-based therapies can help you observe and soothe the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as an upset stomach or lightheadedness. Over time, you will train your body not to respond so drastically to social interactions.

2. Self-Help Techniques
   

   These tools can be effective in addressing the symptoms of social anxiety.

   Anxiety Canada recommends techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, calm breathing, and realistic thinking. You may also notice that certain activities, like calling a trusted friend or listening to a song, make you feel calmer. Friends and family can also be sources of helpful techniques for dealing with symptoms of anxiety.While self-help techniques do not address the underlying causes of our anxiety, their ability to relieve symptoms can be invaluable at times of acute distress.
   
   

3. Talking with Your Physician
   

   Doctors can rule out underlying medical reasons for symptoms, and may be able to advise you on treatment options. Your doctor may also provide you with a referral to a qualified mental health provider.

Are you looking to learn more about social anxiety and its treatment? For a basic overview, we recommend checking out this page from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. You can also hear directly from people living with social anxiety (and, if you choose, share your own story) via the National Social Anxiety Center or one of these online forums.

If you have any social anxiety resources you’d like us to share or post on our online mental health library, the Resilient Brain Project, let us know! We appreciate your thoughtfulness.

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Erin Ross, MS OTR/L is an occupational therapist and an aspiring science writer in DC. She believes in evidence-based practice, clear communication in healthcare, and diligent inclusion of the Oxford comma.